The Greatest Showman IS The Greatest Show …

The Greatest Showman is a perfect film.

Yeah, I know it may not be historically accurate to the true-life story of the legendary P.T. Barnum. But it doesn’t claim to be anything but what it is … a movie. There’s no “based on a true story” at the beginning of the film. And come on, The Perfect Storm made this claim years ago … a true story? Seriously? With no one living to tell the tale? Please.

In a world that spends too much of its time focusing on the negative, The Greatest Showman is Hope. It’s Joy. It celebrates Uniqueness and welcomes the Outcast to the big screen. It’s Kindness. It smears the line when Racism divides. It admits Mistakes and offers Forgiveness. It Dreams. And it does so in Technicolor with an infectious musical score that I bought on iTunes only moments after returning home from the film … and my daughter and I play constantly.

The Greatest Showman is a phenomenon, drawing more people to the theaters weeks after its initial debut than during its initial release. And why is that? Because in a world where drama, dissatisfaction and intolerance seems to abide, people want to remember there is Joy, Hope, Forgiveness, Kindness and Acceptance. They want to know that despite their scars, darkness, mistakes and individuality, they are still welcome … that the world will not stifle what they have to offer.

Many years ago, my family took a summer vacation to Washington DC. We did all the “standard” stuff, touring the Smithsonian, monuments and historical sites. Then, one day, we decided to visit The Kennedy Center. During our tour, we were admitted to take a look at the revered Lincoln Theatre. And what met our eyes was truly miraculous.

The entire theatre looked like a circus. The stage glittered with color, decorated in the grand style of all things spectacular — including a tightrope, a unicycle and a high-flying dangling trapeze. The tour guide explained to us that the musical Barnum, starring Stacy Keach, was performing that evening. My dad didn’t hesitate. He headed to the box office to purchase tickets for the show immediately.

I was in junior high at the time, but there are many things I recall about that evening. I remember walking in to The Kennedy Center and feeling as though I had entered a carnival. Magicians, fire eaters, jugglers, clowns, balloon artists, and tumblers surrounded us, dressed in red and gold and all the magical colors of the rainbow. My brother and I was mesmerized. Quickly, he was collected by a magician to assist with a trick … you know the one. They have rainbow colored streamers in their mouth and you help pull it out … and out and out and out. Jeff pulled and pulled and pulled, fascinated. And I giggled beside him.

Soon, he wore a balloon hat. It looked fabulous with his blue leisure suit. I have a photo of him in that hat, holding a Barnum banner — a banner that hung in his room for many a year. I have a framed poster of the musical on my wall. The production was magical. The prince of humbug, PT Barnum, reminded us that there’s a sucker born every minute … that we crave surprise and magic … that we long for bright colors and production numbers to brighten our days. He walked a tightrope. He sang. He juggled. And he sported that Red Coat with the gold trim and a top hat.

Now, it’s been a long time since I saw that production. But the memory of that darkened theatre and all the pageantry that arose once the lights came up is as vibrant as ever.

Hugh Jackman fought for The Greatest Showman for seven years. He fought to bring a musical to the large screen. He fought to bring the colors and message of this story to an audience. He recognized that The Greatest Showman belonged on the big screen … that it is just the kind of movie and story that our world needs.

The-Greatest-Showman-92b5014And that’s the key. The colors, the uniqueness, the oddness, the strangeness, the scariness of following a dream and daring to believe that you will be welcomed — or at least accepted — by others resonates with each of us no matter who we are. The PT Barnum of The Greatest Showman embraces individuals prone to hide in the darkness and invites them to a place in the center ring. A showman who brings razzle dazzle to the outcasts — and his audience — and reminds us all they we can be celebrated for just who we are. No more hiding in the shadows.

And just when all is going well, Barnum gets caught up.  A cavity in his soul opens and he loses site of his intention, his dream and his true friends in an effort to win approval. The vulnerability of a poor man’s son who was never good enough in the eyes of the world (or his father-in-law) takes the stage, and Barnum looks outside for validation.

See, Barnum was an outcast too. And he longed for the acceptance of those who thought him unworthy. And in this quest, he loses site of what is truly important. He abandons his friends to “Get in” with the very people who cut him down to dust. Yet when everything comes apart at the seams, he realizes that it was these outcasts he brought together who were truly more important to him. This family he brought together was true and real. He realized that he had been chasing the wrong thing. And that only by accepting and loving himself as he was could he find that missing piece of his own puzzle.

He comes back. He admits his mistakes. He owns his poor choices. And, he is forgiven and offered another chance. And together, this band of outcasts creates The Greatest Show on Earth.

So, no matter the critics arguments that PT Barnum was no Hugh Jackman … I mean, who is? Jackman’s PT Barnum is the conveyor of dreams. He offers us a marvelous spectacle AND acceptance in a time where many of us are still prone to hide our own imperfections from the light of day. He invites the outcast we hide inside to come into the light. He celebrates our uniqueness and reminds us that though there will always be those who fight and flee from things “different,” there are so many others who find true joy in our world’s amazing carnival.

Each of us has our little oddities and idiosyncrasies that we hide in the darkness. The Greatest Showman reminds us all to honor, accept and celebrate our own glorious individuality. No, I may not be a bearded lady who hides behind a screen when she sings. Nor am I a pink-wigged trapeze artist fighting prejudice because of my color. But, I have my own bruises, scars and quirky uniqueness.

Hugh Jackman’s PT Barnum reminds us that we are Glorious … that it takes all kinds and colors to Rewrite the Stars. That we’re all walking a Tightrope with A Million Dreams. And that This is Me … and I’m good with that.

The Greatest Showman can change your life. Let it …

                                                                                                                 — Jenni

The Ghost of Christmas Past

I get sentimental at Christmas …

One of my favorite moments in December is the annual trip to visit Santa. This most magical of times includes getting up early, donning festive Christmas attire, and stopping at Starbucks before the meet and greet with the big guy. In most cases, we were his first visit of the day. Inspired and more than a little emotional afterward, I’d follow-up the visit with an annual Christmas email and attach the picture. I have many photographs and fond memories of this annual outing.

An outing which — after 18 years — has officially run its course.

It was a good run. After originally terminating his attendance in 7th grade, my son Jarod re-upped, joining my daughter Paige and me these past three years. Not sure if his return was due to the fact that he knew how much this visit meant to me or that I bought him Starbucks when he came along. At any rate,  both my kids honored this tradition.  But this year, Jarod is away at college. And Paige, now in 7th Grade, finds the idea of a photo with Santa “embarrassing.”

I knew this was coming.

Endings and changes at Christmas seem harder than other times of the year. Why is that? Emotions are heightened. I get sentimental. Okay, I get emotional. My moods run the spectrum. The marketing hype says its “the most wonderful time of the year” but let’s be real here. December is also a dark month filled with hectic hours, sleepless nights and too much to do. Loneliness and a sense of disconnect are more profound than that elusive Christmas Spirit I hear so much about.

And the Ghost of Christmas Past haunts my memories.

Once upon a time in 7th grade, I actually played the Ghost of Christmas Past at TJ Junior High — a role I’m excited to say my daughter will take on in her 7th Grade ELA class this year!

Oops. I digress …

Scrooge+with+Christmas+Past+Ghost+copyAnyway,. I wore all white (along with a little red riding hood cape from an old Halloween costume of mine) and a sprig of holly on my silver-sprayed hair. My job in the play was to remind Ebeneezer Scrooge of days gone by that had shaped him into the man he had become.  To remind him not so gently about memories he had packed away into his mind palace and stored out of sight in a dusty attic. To show him shadows of times past. See Scrooge was met not only with painful memories but with joyful ones too — memories of the love of his sister, falling love in Belle, and of a kick butt Christmas party at Fezziwig’s place.

But he shut those out allowing loss and darker memories to hold sway over him and eventually turn him bitter and shut him off from humankind.

At this “festive” time of the year, Ghosts abound, bringing memories of Christmases past and people, places, celebrations and traditions of times gone by. Some we recall fondly. Some — along with the people that helped handcraft them — are lost to time and distance. Some self-destructed with a wrecking ball.  But these situations, people and memories shaped us, changed us and they continue to affect us. Yet, like Ebeneezer Scrooge, it’s very easy during the dark hours of this month to focus on the difficult times … to lose sight of the party at Fezziwigs and dwell instead on struggles, disappointments, losses, and feelings of loneliness.

The Ghost of Christmas Past haunts me in December. The light she shines into the dark meager corners of my own life creates movie-like vignettes of holidays past and people I shared them with. Like Scrooge, these shadows recall to my mind elegant moments of great joy as well as ones tinged — or drenched — with sadness. The past shaped me into the woman I am today, sparkles and scars. And with all the cold and darkness of December, it can be too much at times.

Sometimes, like Scrooge, I choose to disconnect. Time alone is necessary for me. I’m wired that way. I need a Silent Night. Other times, I need people … friends to laugh with and share joy … friends to remind me that I’m not alone, that they care, that I have value and bring something into their lives too. In fact, this year, a friend had planned a Girls Night event that I almost missed. By choice, I have to admit. I wasn’t sure that I wanted to be around people. My moods have been so erratic. Retreating and avoiding seemed like the best course.

Perhaps it was the text she sent … perhaps it was the one from my friend Cheryl. Anyway, I went, luckily. And what a great Fezziwig memory that will be for the Ghost to bring along in future years … Salted Caramel Martini, fizzy pink champagne and lots of laughter. Of course, I’m still ticked at Angie for stealing my ornament … but wait, Cheryl stole from me first. Anyway, it’s not always easy to predict what moments will truly raise you up until you allow others to reach out and draw you in.

But there are days during this most fricking wonderful time of the year that sometimes just suck. The Ghost sheds light on memories that stir up emotions and the next moment I’m crying over a bunch of peanut butter blossom batter because I miss my kid and then I’m blubbering at church when they play It Came Upon a Midnight Clear which always makes me miss my Granddaddy Carmichael who sang it better than anyone I know.

The Ghost of Christmas Past dredges up emotion. And I’m volatile and passionate, so I have highs and lows every December. But … I honor my nostalgic sentimentality. So when I wake up repeatedly at 5:10 a.m. and can’t go back to sleep, or difficult vignettes arise to replay their scenes in my head and I get lonely, I let go of the ones that no longer serve me. I get up and play with my cat under the tree, enjoying silence and sparkly white lights against morning darkness. I play music that brings me joy or turn to a photo of my niece singing which fills me with delight. Then, I gently think about people who’ve touched my heart and life — no matter if they are gone away. And I vow to connect with those who truly matter in days to come.

The Ghost of Christmas Past will always remind me of the many trips to see Santa … of baking with Jarod and singing with Granddaddy. Of laughter with friends and decorating the tree with my family. Of a skating outing to Campus Martius. Of parties, concerts, caroling around the piano and everything that gives Christmas meaning. Nothing can take those memories from me. And, when it comes to other difficult moments from my past, I can choose to look at the scenes with compassion and kindness. Then, I can let go of bitterness to embrace the Hope that Christmas Present is offering, make time to spend with a friend, and release painful moments, regrets, faded dreams and old wishes.

Ebeneezer Scrooge allowed his past to create bitterness in his heart. And that bitterness disconnected him with his fellow man. There’s a lot going on in December. And it’s very easy to follow his path.

Don’t. Reach out and connect … There’s always a glass of wine — or cup of coffee — and a fresh batch of cookies at my house if you need a safe haven.

But if you need a peaceful, silent night instead, choose to remember Fezziwig’s party over all the Drama from your past.

It was a damn good time.

God Bless Us, Every One.

                                                                                                                    — Jenni