Month: December 2024

Once More Unto The Breach, Dear Friends, Once More…

On By Jenni's CornerIn Musings1 Comment

When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I reasoned as a child. But when I became a [woman] I put away childish things. 1 Corinthians 13:11

Memories are funny things, when you glance backward. Do you read them like a book? I know I do.

There are so many Chapters written thus far in the Book of Jenni–a story begun in July 1966. I’m sure you’ve paged through your own original adventure tale as well. But, as I pull my copy from the library shelf, it reads a bit like a fantasy, rom-com, sci-fi, mystery, with more than its share of drama.

In the Early Years Chapter, I read about the Elementary School me–my time at Cooks Corners as an only school-aged child and then with a little brother in tow. I read about moving into Thomas Jefferson Junior High and navigating awkward middle school years. (Shudder! That reading is a bit harder!) Pages are scribbled on making (and losing) friends, involvement in Drama Club and Choir, and trying to figure out who I was becoming. And then just when I figured it out, there was the next Chapter covering the big move to Valparaiso High School–more drama club, more choir, golf team, more crushes and heartbreak, studying, and dramatic ebbs and flows of friendships as I traversed biases and high school “Drama” to at last reach graduation. And with that conclusion of my Indiana education, I reached the final years as a real Indiana resident.

I may boast Red and White blood in my veins as a prodigy of Indiana University parents. But I’ve spent more time in Michigan than I ever did in Indiana. Kind of weird …

Anyway, my next big Chapter of note was an exciting four years at Albion College. There I learned how to be a roommate, making life-long friends. I joined a sorority, performed with the theatre, learned Vodka and Mountain Dew did Not belong together, and then–after graduation–moved to Michigan to embark on adulting without a net. That Chapter covered more than a few career and job changes. Believe it or not, I didn’t originally intend to be an Event Planner! It introduced new characters, began to cover the highs and lows of my adventures with community theatre, and wrapped up with meeting Doug Clark–my to-be husband.

There’s an entertaining Chapter outlining the fun of early married years before kids … and then several once two bright lights joined us as Jarod and Paige came along. The Married/Kid Chapters were intricate ones featuring a fair share of emotions, dramas, romance, and circus-like juggling to navigate the complicated energies and activities of four independent personalities under one roof. Add a cat and some fish and the story got weird and weighty at times. Yes, those Chapters are fast-paced–filled with carpools, volunteering, coaching, more theatre–but this time including up to four players!, Scouts, concerts, swim meets, ballet recitals, writing/publishing a book, and the discovery of SRO Shakespeare camps and productions.

Whew! Take a breath! I know that I did quite a bit of gasping for air as I rushed about during those Chapters.

Then, Jarod graduated–moving out on his own. And a few years later, Paige left for college. The nest was empty, so to speak. It was time to begin a new Chapter in a book that had become quite a thrilling adventure tale. Suddenly, after the content and speed of life to date, content slowed down a bit.

Oh the Adventures continue–I did get to Scotland this year! Yet I’ve learned that Empty Nesting presents its own challenges and opens its own Chapter. What’s included is a big question… one I’m sorting out.

At this time of year, I typically find quiet moments to consider goals, intentions, hopes, and plans for the year ahead. 2024 was…challenging. Losing my parents and reflecting on their lifetimes was both difficult and a joy-filled. There were both good moments last year too. As I’ve learned after choosing JOY as my 2024 word, life is a blend of Light and Dark. Joy is a complicated concept. It’s not just happy-happy but also presents resources to help navigate and find the light in harder ones. Which I did as best as I could.

So I looked to the new year. 2025! I found myself struggling to select a word to frame what comes next. See, these words aren’t something I pull out of a hat. They are something that I ponder deeply about over time. And often, a word finds and chooses me.

As I considered the word, I found myself reflecting on my life so far–and considering my next Chapter. What will it cover? What will it say? What and who will it include? Oh, I know I’m not done yet, but my To Do list is a bit shorter than it used to be, and I’ve slowed down too. Things are…different. So, as I pondered “Next Steps,” my oracle cards kept bringing me to “Shine Your Light” and “Divine Timing.” That’s part of my unwritten manuscript. I mean, I think I know how to Shine, but sometimes what I want to do or the things I believe are “right” just might not be best for me–or (putting it in theatre terms)–the role might not be one where I make the cast list. Many factors come into play and choosing what I do next doesn’t always mean it will choose me.

It’s a balancing act.

Pondering this conundrum, I found myself hoping to choose and do the “Next Right Thing”–whatever that might be. And that’s how the word came to me…

In 2025, my word is CLARITY. That is what I will seek. Clarity will help me Shine my Light where it is needed. With some Divine Timing, Clarity will help guide me to the right people, the right things, the right projects/activities, and the next right thing…whatever it may be.

My story goes on–a new Chapter is waiting to be written. Adventure? Drama? Fantasy? Rom-Com? Mystery? Whodunnit? Comedy? Perhaps it will be a mixture of all of those. I look forward to spending time with the Characters who wish to be part of the continuing adventures of Jenni Carmichael Clark–and to finding the Clarity to be the best me I can be as I follow where the new year leads me.

One Page at a Time.

And yes, by the way, in case you recognized it, I’ll give you a bit of Clarity. The title for this post is a Shakespearean quote from Henry V.

Happy New Year!

— Jenni

Happy December 1st

On By Jenni's CornerIn MusingsLeave a comment

“Happy December 1st!” I answered my phone my senior year at Albion College. I fondly remember my friend Matt laughing, hanging up the phone, and calling back to see if the results would be the same.

They were.

“Happy December 1st” is how I answer my phone on this day–the beginning of my Holiday Season.

As a child, my parents woke my brother Jeff and me with the musical tones of the Ray Conniff singers. To this day we debate whether said song was “Jingle Bells” or “Here Comes Santa Claus.” This year, we will just have to agree to disagree since there is no one to confirm or deny … This was our first December 1st without both of our parents.

It’s a rudderless feeling, the loss of the two pivotal people who were always there. People ask if I’m okay, which is a question difficult to answer. On one hand, I’m fine. On the other, I miss them desperately, and I’m a bit lost. Peace comes from my faith though, knowing that they are together and that they loved us–and will always love us. In knowing that whatever next step I take, I don’t take it alone. People who love me and care about me are all around me.

So today, I decorated my home with my own specially curated Holiday decorations–items purchased over the years since I moved out on my own and then later when I began family traditions with my husband Doug and our two kids–kids who are now adults and are doing exactly what I did all those years ago! Yet amidst my decorations–which are quite extensive–are select items from those my parents displayed. The result means that decorating for Christmas is more than a one day activity. There are more bins than there used to be! It’s a 2+ day project that leaves my lower back a little more sore than I recall in season’s past and my home a bit more festive.

After completing this project and then indulging in a much needed Peppermint bubble bath soak, I sit here happily with Christmas Jazz playing and snowflakes falling (thanks to You Tube) enjoying what has always begun on December 1st. The miracle of the Christmas Holidays. It’s different this year–I know that. And as I woke this morning, my first thoughts were of my parents, who loved the holidays, loved decorating their home, and collected more Santas than anyone should ever possess.

A few of those Santas have been assimilated by me–others by my brother, my kids, and my nieces.

There’s truly sense of peace that comes from knowing that though my parents are no longer here physically, the traditions they developed when Jeff and I were kids will continue. Each grandkid has a CD copy of The Ray Conniff Christmas Album. And this morning, my brother Jeff called me at 7am to ring in the season with “Jingle Bells” and wish me a Happy December 1st. Next year, I’ll ring in with “Here Comes Santa Claus”–or perhaps one of my kids will assume the torch. One way or another, on December 1st, the Holidays will begin and my phone will ring bright and early. And even in my grogginess, I will smile and choose gratitude.

December 1st is a beginning … a reminder of the importance of family and staying connected with the people I love. I like to think Dad and Mom are pleased to see us carrying on something they started by simply playing a record and waking us up at the crack of dawn.

Yes, my home is festive. If it could speak, everything displayed could share its own origin story. There is no simple “decoration.” And as I look about, I smile and find Joy in knowing that somewhere in time my parents are calling and Ray Conniff is reminding me to honor the season, to enjoy my family, to spend time laughing and celebrating with friends, and to keep playing the music that has always brought Joy into my life.

“Jingle Bells”? “Here Comes Santa Claus”? Who can say … but when I get the call from Jeff–or he gets the call from me–Happy December 1st will always the greeting. But I love you and I’m grateful to share this special time of year with you will always be the subtext.

Happy December 1st.

— Jenni