“La Vie En Rose … It is the French way of saying ‘I am looking at the world through rose-colored glasses.'”
–Audrey Hepburn

I read once that finding peace of mind and creating lasting relationships becomes more likely when you choose to apply three key principles:

1. Unconditional Acceptance
2. Lowered Expectations
3. Positive Distortion

Not easy they are, say I in my best Yoda-speak.

See, when I flip my calendar to July each year, I have great expectations for this important month. It features a traditional holiday as well as my birthday, so what’s not to like? And this year, July would include the release of my very first, long dreamt about (by me) book “Taking Yoga Off the Mat.”

Do you have it yet? If not, what’s the hold up? No time like the present! Click HERE and you are all set 🙂

Sorry for the commercial break and shameless self-promotion. July to me is supposed to be Thirty One-derful days. There will be cake, presents, paddle-boarding, yoga by the water, and celebratory times with my family and friends. But when things go south on July 1, you know you’re in for a bumpy ride.

In the midst of the global pandemic, my cat Ellie–who truly has been a key, unselfish support system and morning coffee buddy for me and featured so prominently in much of my writing–became very suddenly ill. We rushed her to the doctor, who found her severely anemic and sent us promptly to an emergency center. We handed her over to the doctor in her crate and waited for the results in our car. Covid, you know. We waited for 4 hours before they told us she needed an emergency blood transfusion and they would need to keep her overnight.

The doctors expected it was some kind of infection. They would do an ultrasound and call us in the morning. But when they called, the news they gave us the next day was news you don’t want to hear. Unexpected, awful news. Our family was devastated, but we brought Ellie home. The doctor told us that by putting her on prednisone, we might enjoy a little more time with our beloved Ellie. So that’s what we did… showered her with love and enjoyed every moment. We shared the news with only a few people–it was too hard to talk about–who provided much needed support during this difficult time.

Well, seven months passed, July 1 arrived, and Ellie was still with us–sassy as ever! The doctors and my friend Eileen called her a Wonder Kitty. We prepared for our annual July 4th Holiday trip north–Ellie loves it up by the woods and water with the sites, sounds, and smells (and we do too!)–when suddenly my daughter Paige noticed that Ellie’s eye was watering.

We wiped it a bit and continued to pack the car.

And it got worse. Her eye started to look like it was melting.

We called the doctor, who sent us to emergency. There we found out that the prednisone she was taking had caused her cornea to blister and rupture (a condition called bullous keratopathy). She needed immediate eye surgery. Know what else they found during this testing? Her red blood counts were normal. No anemia at all. And the terminal cancer they told us that she had… oops.

This was July 1. The month was screwed.

Ellie came home wearing a cone, ravaged by the medicine that was supposed to be temporary but ended up causing damage to her beautiful green eyes. There were eye drops and medicines, doctor appointments, and steps taken to keep her safe and confined to the main floor. My daughter was a rock, finding strength she didn’t know she had to help her cat. She helped me find that too. And Ellie took eye drops like a champ!

See, Ellie is a fighter. And now… six weeks after the surgery… she’s cone free, sleeping nights at my feet (or sprawled out on my husband’s side of the bed staking her claim), and regaining her Muchness. She’s under doctor supervision (a NEW one!) as we wean her off prednisone. And we remain hopeful that whatever happened in December–no one really knows just what that was due to the misdiagnosis–doesn’t return. Oh, the veterinary ophthalmologist found something else going on in her eyes, keratoconjunctivitis, and prescribed a new med. But, the good news IS she’s running around, going up and down stairs with ease, and showing signs of her normal and even her pre-December 30 self.

So, I started this post by talking about three concepts that support lasting relationships and peace of mind. I started by talking about my book, the one where I discuss using techniques learned in yoga to unequivocally state that we CAN do and handle hard things and that the awful stuff that comes along is only temporary anyway. I started by talking about how the month of my birthday I expect wonder, joy, cake, fun with friends, and sweet spot specialness.

Well, throughout July 2021 I did my best to lower my expectations. I did my best to accept unconditionally what came my way and release the stuff that I hoped would happen but, well, just didn’t.

I did my best. Really. But I fell short. Guess I need to re-read my book!

But where I really missed the mark was employing Positive Distortion. I misplaced my “rose-colored glasses” and felt like the sky was falling more days than I care to admit. My book release, my vacation plans, my ease on the mat, and even my celebratory birthday joy were greyed out by worry and fear.

Yet, I made it through. And, I’ve not only found a new pair of Rose-Colored glasses, I’m reminding myself to actually put them on.

Life may disappoint. People may not do or understand or play the role that I had scripted or hoped for them. Cats might get sick when the car is packed for vacation. People may cancel plans or not show up when and how you want them to. But… when I lower my expectations, when I unconditionally accept what is happening and the people around me for who THEY ARE (not who I want them to be) and what THEY CHOOSE to offer me, and when I remember that a little Positive Distortion can brighten the darkest moments, well, I find strength, peace of mind, joy, and true contentment, no matter what.

On July 2, all I wanted to do was get through the month. Well, it’s Friday, August 13, and I did. Ellie is stronger. I am stronger. And there were lots of amazing moments in the middle of it all. No, maybe not Thirty One-derful days. But, all in all, pretty darn good.

–-Jenni