“Get up! Take up your mat, and walk … ”  John 5:8

I’m definitely showing my age when I feature “Fractured Fairy Tales” in The Corner. I can say, confidently, that I watched these episodes in re-runs — The Rocky and Bullwinkle show on which they originally aired was before my time. Really! Yet, these simple cartoons remain memorable to me.

In these brief cartoon clips — available even today to view on YouTube for those of you who have no idea what I’m talking about and are curious — the story, the characters as well as the outcome were messed up … wrong … distorted … damaged.

Fractured.

That doesn’t just happen in a 1960s cartoon though. Sometimes we humans fracture. We break, cracking just enough to allow the black ooze to find its way in.

Moments, jobs, relationships, projects, things we once held dear begin to lose their pretty rose-colored glow. People who were once happy and satisfied with the status quo begin to find faults, whispering and complaining in corners. Dissatisfied clumps appear near the coffee maker. The seeds of discontent begin to grow like weeds to disrupt every aspect of their daily lives.

The black ooze seeps in … You know, that ooze you see on cracked doll faces in famous Hallowe’en movies. Suddenly, the once easy way we viewed someone or something or a project or a job or {fill in the blank} is tainted. And as the black ooze spreads, it becomes increasingly difficult to extricate oneself from its acidic, destructive influence. Everything changes … and your outlook turns bleak.

Over the years, I’ve seen, encountered, battled and dealt with my share of the “black ooze” — of the fall out of the fractured fairy tales. It’s subtle in its origins. But it gains momentum quickly and impacts everything in its path.

There are ways to overcome it — to wipe away the tar-like mess. But the clean-up only begins when we CHOOSE to make a change. When we DECIDE to combat the muck threatening to overwhelm us. When we RETRAIN ourselves to put on those Rose-Colored glasses once again and allow the light from within to battle the ooze from without.

It’s truly amazing how much wisdom I glean while exercising. Scoff away, doubters. While some might say that Working Out is hard, I suggest that it’s Living Off the Mat that’s more challenging.

On the mat, you KNOW you only have 30, 45, 60 or whatever time frame your workout lasts to handle the poses or cardio-intensities. There are only so many reps. There is always a countdown. Holds only last so long and at the end there is always a stretch and final rep to look forward to. Honestly, it’s breathing through hurtful remarks, reminders of your failings and misses, careless criticism and the lack of support we as people of this planet tend to face that’s the true test of endurance. How many times I can lift a 10-15 pound weight pales in comparison to how many times I can deal with feeling or hearing others point out my failings or weaknesses. To feel that all I am is still not enough around my friends, peers and coworkers.

Finding ways to be kind and master courage in today’s often unsupportive, critical, self-oriented world … to continue the repetitions and breathing in THAT workout amidst cruelty, carelessness, and even conscious or unconscious cavalier treatment … is WAY harder than a 60-minute cardio or weight-training session. But endurance truly comes from mental strength and personal choice. That’s how you build muscle and keep out the ooze. That’s how you nurture the spirit and prevent disruption of your personal and emotional balance. Oh, and surrounding yourselves with people who truly love and support you as you are, that’s a great choice too. If someone or something doesn’t serve you or support your story, walk away from it.

We all face it. We all encounter the ooze. It sews discontent. It creates fractures and separates us from each other. It separates us from the Light.

But … like I was reminded on my Mat today, when those challenging repetitions and the doubts of my ability to make it through arise, all I really have to do is breathe and believe in myself. To trust that I can do this. That I have the strength. To trust that I’m where I’m meant to be and doing exactly what I’m meant to be doing.

Our only real defense against the Fractured Fairy Tale is to have faith in ourselves. To choose to be kind to others … no matter what … and to be gentle with ourselves. Put on those rose-colored glasses and choose to see the best in people, the situation, and the challenges we encounter every single day. Choose to see the best in our selves. Offer your best and let go of the rest …

And … oh, by the way, a hot bubble bath by candlelight with aid of a heavy duty Lavender scrub to cleanse off whatever ooze happened to seep out from our deepest fears, desires, struggles or disappointments is a great way to cleanse and restore the mind, body and spirit too.

                                                                                                 — Jenni

There are things I want to do and things I don’t want to do. I run into them day after day. I smile through them. I say the right things. In many cases, I comply and assimilate. I set aside certain thoughts or desires. I deny others and try to do the right thing whenever possible.

Bottom line, the Good of the Many wins out. I do all I can to meet expectations, while being true to myself and keeping it together.

But I’m gonna say this right now … I do NOT want to move from two feet solidly grounded on the floor — something that takes a lot of focus these days — to Majorette. And I most definitely don’t want to kick my leg in front of me like some wannabe ballerina and try and hold it there for one breath … let alone 5.

Let me explain …

For my birthday, my family gave me 6 months of Unlimited Yoga. I’ve purchased a 50 class pass in the past, using it over time. But I’ve never had access to Unlimited Yoga in any setting but at home with a DVD and the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders. (Long story which I’m not gonna explore right now. Just blame my brother!)

I can now go to the Shelter anytime I want to practice yoga. And, it’s Awesome!

So I do. But there’s a trend I’ve noticed in most of my classes lately. Someone seems to be making it a flow requirement to include a Balance in Majorette and then move into this Hand to Big Toe extension pose … you know, with your leg out front. Well, my arm is either too short or my leg is too long … bottom line. I suck at it. I can’t do it. And it frustrates me at a time I really don’t want to allow myself to get caught up and try to start controlling things again …

In my eight years at the Royal Oak Yoga Shelter, I’ve yet to find one pose that all the yogis lead you into, other than savasana (aka corpse pose) where we lay quietly at the end of a session and let everything we’ve done for 58 minutes sink in. Typically, each yogi has favorite flows … poses consistent to their class. But suddenly, it’s all about Majorette and one-legged pose with a twist. All about finding balance in this convoluted stance.

I wonder, at times, in some self-oriented way, if it’s a joke from the universe. A message that will keep replaying until I finally process it. Am I the only person who notices this? What is the universe trying to say to me?

Get Balanced? Just do it? Find the strength? Yes, you can?

All problems are illusions of the mind … Eckhart Tolle.

Maybe the Universe knows I don’t want to do it, but that I need to try anyway. Maybe it’s whispering to my spirit that I do have the strength to stand up straight and find balance. That I have the strength to hold my leg out … or, perhaps I have the strength to say no when doing so is the best thing for me. Maybe it’s asking me to draw a line in the sand when I know it’s time to walk away from something that doesn’t serve me.

Perhaps it’s telling me that I have the strength to handle whatever pose comes at me and how I handle that pose is completely up to me …

Until I get whatever message the Universe is sending my way, I’m going to go through this regular Class Loop — a Groundhog Day meets Yoga kind of thing.

Interesting. Taking what happens in my Yoga class and trying to apply it Off The Mat. And you can say, Jenni, lighten up. It’s just a pose.

But, sometimes there is something more meaningful that you take away from your sixty minutes on the mat. It’s all in how you receive what comes your way. How you connect it to your heart, your mind and your spirit. Is this repetition a message that I need to pay attention to? Or is it just coincidence … some pose plan the Shelter came up with.

Up to you how you see it.

Me, I’m gonna listen. Maybe my response to the challenge is a message. Maybe my struggle with the pose is a message. Maybe my decision not to do the pose is a message. No one forces me to do it. I can take child’s pose or do something else and no one would hold it against me. I can keep trying and maybe get better and find a way past my struggle.

But if there’s a pose that needs to keep coming my way, can I put a word or two in for Triangle … ?

  – Jenni

P.S. Craziest thing. They day I wrote this, my yoga instructor called us into Triangle for the first time in ages.

And THEN, we moved into Half Moon and … Majorette …

Clearly, I think there’s a message I need to listen to.